Ad hoc translation.

Ever since I was a delightfully (as in, it delighted me--not others) selfabsorbed know-it-all in high school, I've been looking for the right opportunities to use bits of Latin here and there. Today, I had to translate my diploma from Latin to English. In the process, I (would have) proved (if anyone actually knew any) that I am helpless with Latin--a complete fake. Yet, in the process, I also discovered the supreme irony of Ivy league diplomas written in Latin--or at least of those from my school: the Latin is bad--even blatantly incorrect, aimed mostly at using complicated words and tenses. So a certificate is passed from Trustees, Faculty, Dean and President of the University--none of whom understand the Latin--to their pupils--none of whom understand it--to signify that the former wish to acknowledge the learning of the latter. Those conferring the diplomas, dressed in the robes of a false priesthood, which neither they nor their graduates believe in, do not even understand what the diploma says (or its mistakes)--nor do those who receive their diplomas, for the most part. Yet all are happy to participate in the pomp and circumstance which serves to congratulate each on his or her status.

Similarly, today I hacked my way through a very bad translation so that a government entity, which also doesn't know much about Latin, can take at face value what I say that my diploma says--even though whatever it says, it says incorrectly. Rewarding me for this, they will allow me to work--thankfully for all, in a field other than Latin.