This Office is Wild

Killing time, punching the clock, thinking bout escaping for a moonlit nightwalk.

. . . This town was meant for passing through
Boy, it ain't nothin' new
Now go and show 'em that the world stayed round
But it's a long, long, long way down

You better run for the hills before they burn

. . . I've been trying hard to do what's right
But you know I could stay here
All night
And watch the clouds fall from the sky
This river is wild
This river is wild...

Oregoing?

Okay, wait, why haven't I been to this place yet?



I mean, I understand why I haven't been to, say, Mississippi, North Dakota, Kansas or Kentucky. Someday I'll make it to all of those. But if my travels are a gaptooth smile, Oregon is the gap. Besides Alaska, it's the only Western (or far Western if you're back East) state I haven't visited.



I'll see what I can do.

Thy Thee Thine

First of all, I'm not a little girl. Because of that, I can admit that, generally speaking, I prefer George songs to John or Paul ones.



With that outta the way: let's talk about Thou. And by that I clearly mean the Early Modern English pronoun, rather than wanting to talk about thee, the reader as an individual whom I wish to refer to very intimately (or potentially disrespectfully, if you are, e.g., my boss). Ah, Thy Thee Thine (which some grad student somewhere has doubtless made into a mournful song to the tune of I Me Mine in order to clarify proper usage). Now, ye (the readers as a group, not as individuals) fail to understandEarly Modern English and pronouns. In the last few weeks, I've had multiple occasions to explain the differences between the pronouns thou - ye - you and cringing when people mis-use thou and thee or misconjugate Early Modern English forms (e.g. "I loveth thou" "We askest that thee may"). I don't mean that I was needling people for poor usage; rather, distinctions between ye - thou and proper usage of thou have come up in conversation or discussion of the KJV.

This link (also, see here for context)isn't particularly scholarly, complete or definitive, but it is a nice shorthand treatment that I'm basically bookmarking with this post. I think that if you bother to spend three seconds understanding the differences between the pronouns, it unlocks quite a bit of meaning in Early Modern English (e.g. Shakespeare, the KJV).

An excerpt:

Generally speaking, the grammar of Early Modern English is identical to that of Modern English so there is little difficulty in that regard. There is one issue that seems to bother newcomers to Shakespeare, however. Teachers will often find students complaining: 'All those thees and thous . It's soooo old-fashioned and I can't be bothered with it.' Once again, this usage was in a state of transition and, as always, Shakespeare exploits that.

In Modern English we use the word "you" as both the singular and the plural form. In Old English, thou was used for addressing one person; ye for more than one. You was around then, and while thou and ye were used as a subject of a clause, you was used as the object. By the time of Early Modern English, the distinction between subject and object uses of ye and you had virtually disappeared, and you became the norm in all grammatical functions and social situations. Ye had become old-fashioned and so, when we see it in the Authorised Bible ('Oh ye of little faith') we are seeing that, in spite of the fact that you may think you understand the language in the Bible better than you do Shakespeare, Shakespeare is more modern!

By Shakespeare's time in Early Modern English you was being used for both singular and plural, but in the singular it also had a role as an alternative to thou and thee . You was used by people of lower status to those above them (such as ordinary people to nobles, children to parents, servants to masters), and was also the formal way for the upper classes to talk to each other. By contrast, thou and thee were used by people of higher rank to those beneath them, and by the lower classes to each other; also, strangely enough, in addressing God, and in talking to witches, ghosts, and other supernatural beings. As a refection of the higher status of males in the male/female context a husband might address his wife as thou , and she might reply respectfully with you .

The use of thou and you also had an emotional dimension. Thou commonly expressed special intimacy or affection; you , formality, politeness, and distance. That form is still used in French today in the use of vous and tu . Thou might also be used by an inferior to a superior, to express such feelings as anger and contempt or to be insulting and this is one of the areas where Shakespeare is able to get extra levels of meaning by showing disrespect by one character for another's status. The use of thou to a person of equal rank could be used as an insult. Sir Toby Belch advises Sir Andrew Aguecheek on how to write a challenge to the Count's youth, Viola: 'if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss' (Twelfth Night).

In addition, do follow the proper declension when, say, composing impromptu cheesy love poems, writing period screenplays (honestly, how do professional writers screw this up!?), trying to use thee/thou while praying in front of a crowd or otherwise attempting to speak like you're out of the 16th century. (Yeah, yeah, I know about the limitations of grammar and rules--viz. that grammar is never standardized across populations and, relevant to these rules, people from [wherever,] England, unlike their neighbors may very well have used ye as a singular pronoun or in both the nominative and accusative. But the point is, these simple rules will help you not sound dumb--and those people sounded dumb to more educated English speakers of their day, especially when trying woo upper class women by composing cheesy love poems).

Simple rules:
1. Thou ~ I. Roughly speaking, Thou , in the second person singular, is used as I would be in the first person singular.
2. Thee ~ me. They rhyme, if that helps.
3. Thy / thine ~ my / mine. They also rhyme!
4. Ye is for plural ("oh ye [as a group] of little faith"), thou is for singular ("thou [the individual] shalt not"). Ye might learn a lot by remembering this.

Speaking of "shalt" there is a short list of irregular verbs. But generally speaking, use "-est" or "-st" endings with thou. Save the "-eth/-th" for third person singular. (I run, Thou runnest and he/she/it runneth.)

Okay, I'm done being annoying for now. If you must, read this now.

Speaking of Ovens. . .

After about 4 months of living in this apartment, I finally used mine today. Like the stove (when I first used it, before it was fixed), I couldn't use it without knocking out the power for the entire apartment.

Long story short, I now have a new oven. And it just made me a pizza. The pizza looks a bit overdone, though. Now back to watching Ice Road Truckers. (I've seen the season before, but I'm just glad I found this on TV over here.)

Happy Birthday!

It's Grandma's Birthday and then Mom's, so I'm splitting the difference by posting this today. See you guys in Hawaii.



(yeah, yeah, I know: the song was about Martin Luther King--but it's Stevie Wonder, and I couldn't get him to record a new version. Mr. Chin wanted to be faithful to the original.)

Is the Oven half full?

From today's headlines: Teen Pregnancy Up!

Of course, the better way to say this is that teen pregnancy rates in the United States fell for an astonishing 15 straight years, before rising slightly. However, I have no doubt that somewhere somebody's blood pressure is rising over today's troubled youth.

The headline news plays well to activists and Sunday School teachers who prefer to take a dim view of the rising generation. (Just like the well-documented emphasis on negative economic news over the last 7 years, even at times when by all (uh, informed) accounts the economic news was actually good.) Notably, teen pregnancy rates rose dramatically beginning in the 1970s and peaked 1991, before the recent, protracted decline.

Of course, even the 1991 rate did not approach the 20th-century peak in teen pregnancy in the 1950s. (Your grandma didn't tell you that, did she? And it certainly wasn't on Leave it to Beaver.)

I would say that despite all of the disintegration (tongue-in-cheek) of the moral fabric of society under the influence of TV shows like Murphy Brown (gasp!) and now movies like Juno and Knocked Up, today's kids are doing pretty well. Young women reach menarche 3-4 years yearlier than at the turn of the century, and get pregnant as teens at lower rates than their mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers. Not too shabby. But there WAS a rise this year. Shame, shame.

Arguably, the 1950s problem was only having crummy entertainment options like, uh, the radio and, um, Leave it Beaver (leaving it up to, well, never mind) that made kids go for switch blades, hot rods and high teen birth rates. Maybe if they had more entertaining TV and movies the moral fabric of society wouldn't have been so, er, loose.

In other news, rates of sexual activity among teenagers stayed at roughly the same level as . . . they've been for the last 200 years. But don't tell your Grandma that either.

Of course, the USA (being the backwoods cousins of the enlightened North) has a much higher teen pregnancy rate than most other "rich countries" (you know, Denmark, Sweden, Japan, etc.) according to a recent UN Report. That report points out the correlation of teen pregnancy with poverty rates and the US's embarrasingly high rates of poverty and disproporionate levels of teen pregnancy among its growing poor population. So we're still pretty degenerate and embarrassing to the other Northern Nations--but that's nothing new. We've been both of those things ever since the Mayflower set sail.

CFB: Strength of Schedule

Very interesting information on out of conference scheduling in CFB.

Iz for good measure

Somewhere over the Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Speaking of Bob, I just downloaded this song and If I Only Had a Brain sung by Mr. Schneider. But then my Finnish friend just reminded me of another version:



Yeah, I'm excited about Bali, but even more excited about Hawaii.

By the way, the Wizard of Oz is very well written.

See, I can't scare anybody.
They come from miles around
To laugh in my face and eat in my field.

Said a scarecrow swinging on a pole,
To some blackbirds sittin' on a fence,
"Oh, the Lord gave me a soul,
But, forgot to give me common sense."

Said the blackbirds, "Well, well, well.
What the thunder would you do with common sense?"
Said the scarecrow,"Would be pleasin'
just to reason out the reason
of the wishes and the whyness and the whence"

If I had an once of common sense...
(If he had an ounce of common sense)

(Well, what would you do Scarecrow?")

I would while away the hours
Conferin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel every riddle,
For every individle,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts I'd be thinkin',
I could be another Lincoln,
If I only had a brain.

Oh I-- could tell you why,
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before,
Then I'd sit-- and think some more.

I would not be just a nothin',
my head all full of stuffin',
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.

If I only had a brain--
(If he only had a brain.)

I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thought before
And then I'd sit-- and think some more.

Ya, it would be kind of pleasin'
To reason out the reason,
for the things I can't explain.
Then perhaps I'd deserve you,
and be even worthy of you,
If I only had a brain.

I could dance and by merry,
Life would be a dingle derry,
If I only had a brain.

If I only had a brain.
(If he only had a brain.)

Flowerparts

And, in case that wasn't enough Bob for ya, here's another ditty.

Capn Kirk

I think I can safely say that this is what we all want.